An Epic Poem in honour of Drunken Han

Campaign GM: Chuck Burke

Poem Author: James McKendrew

This is an epic poem written by a player who's character who died in a game session on May 30th, 2000

A few campaign notes

Ode to a Completely Recovered Alcoholic.

Now bend an ear while I regail.

(My way with words does never fail!)

Just sit right back and hear this tale.

The Life of Han Sing-Mo.

A fighter born, a fighter bred.

He swore to fight 'til he was dead.

A lightning fist (and spongy head)

To pummel any foe.

His one true love was Wong Mei-Ling.

A scrapper, but a pretty thing.

Their love was new, still in its spring

When Fate began his strife.

For hired thugs were paid to kill.

And though Han did not lack the will

he'd drunk too much that night to still

the blade that took her life.

He fled the town and fell to drink.

His fu was lost. His breath did stink.

But he was rescued from the brink

Of hopelessness and death.

Quan Tei, a monk, did show him fu.

He gave Han peace and knowledge, too.

Tho nothing that Quan Tei could do

Would sweeten Han's rank breath.

Then Quan Tei croaked and Han was lost

'til Liver Feng he came acrost.

He rocked and reeled and turned and tossed

in ancient Druken style.

Well Han had come into his own.

His drunken star had finally shone.

And after months, he'd even grown

to love the taste of bile.

Then Feng did send him on his way

and told him of a place where may-

be he could learn and teach and stay

and live among Shang Quo.

So in he moved. Unpacked his trunk.

(And even though his breath still stunk)

He cast his fate in with those monks

who called him Drunken Ho.

And thus began a long campaign.

The monks were every demon's bane.

The dark ones fought and yet were slain

Han's first kill was Sing Tao.

And then Han studied Sorcery.

He healed and raised humidity.

Skies crackled with his energy.

He was a magus now.

Then Ying Shao-Cheng did turn his coat.

A body was his good-bye note.

And Han found out and jumped a boat

And headed for (The island that would one day be) Taiwan.

He was accosted by the law

who weren't there to stop and jaw

but came instead as Black Sect's paw

to capture Drunken Han.

And so he spent some time in jail.

He killed Grey Serpent, then skipped bail.

Red Devil did he then impale

upon his own long spear.

The monks did then Taiwan unite

beneath the leaders of the White.

(And boy, was THAT a nasty fight.

God DAMN I need a beer.)

Then home they went, but old Shang Quo

had fallen, so they had to go

And merge with Lawlords so to show

that monks would NOT stay dead.

And there Han drank and fought and drank

and drank and drank (and yes, he stank)

and Water Lawlord was his rank,

though Flaming Pussy led.

So Han took up Delerium

and went with friends kick some bum

of Astro Clan, and eat Dim Sum.

(I know... That was a reach...)

Hermaphrodite Han did hate.

Mei-Ling she did impersonate.

And then she used fu which, to date

Shang Quo refused to teach.

He slew Red Oak and Wintergreen

and Seamus Smoke. But that did mean

that all their souls could now be seen

in Han's spear to reside.

He had to leave his spear behind

which put him in a little bind

when evil Hermit he did find;

dark student at his side.

The first attack did take its toll

('cause Todd BOTCHED his Perception roll)

and Hermit's strike did leave a hole

in Han's well wizened breast.

So Han fought back with vigor (WHAP!)

while Ninja-boy took on the Chap.

The Blades of Darkness opened gaps

in Chap's unhappy chest...

While Hermit sent a mighty blast

which wounded Han, who then did cast

a fireburst that went right past

the boss, and killed his Shmoe.

And Hermit's rage spewed forth as Chi

And sent old Han right through a tree

And Something Shadow then did see

The Death of Han Sing-Mo.

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